Things I want to remember

Because this whole part of infancy is a blur...really, where did the last 5.5 months go?

Alex:
Old soul... he really is. I say this because I sware he looks at me and just understands everything I say. When he smiles I feel it. You know what I mean? You know when you feel a smile?

Happy - all the time. Such a wonderful little temperment.
Sleeps like an angel.... NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laughs easy
Likes the soother at nap time
sleeps on his tummy
likes strangers (or anyone that will look at him)

Hayden:
"Spirited" (no need to get into anything else about that!)
Loves to sleep
Was a good eater but is now picky
Talks all the time.
Loves his books
Loves Dora
Loves Elmo
Loves cars
Loves Daddy
Likes to take Alex's socks off
FUNNY, knows it and tries to be
Loves Lui
Says up for down and down for up
drives me nuts
melts my heart

I'm really enjoying my time with my boys in spite of the hard parts. 
I love you guys xo.

HAPPY anniversary

A year ago this past Monday, my sister had her liver transplant. A hard year of adjustment for her but like the tropper she is, she does it with a smile on her face always looking for that silver lining.  Her ordeal makes me realize that there are "extra pregnancy weight and sleepless nights" problems and then there are REAL problems.  Makes my whole rants on my blog so trivial (not that it's going to stop me though :)  ).

Anyway, I just wanted to mention her today because she deserves the recognition for being the best sport I have ever met and a hero I'm sure to many. xxx

Perfectly Lonely

On V-day Marcus and I were happy to run away for a few hours and attended the John Mayer concert at the A.C.C.  Great show, great seats, great time! 

Anyway getting reved up for the concert and since I've been enjoying his latest album and indirectly so has Hayden! When I play "Perfectly Lonley" he claps and dances with a huge smile on his face. Its delishly adorable! (Yes, he has his moments between his "spirited" out bursts")

At the concert I was asked for ID when ordering a drink.  I almost kissed the bar tender! "I have two kids" I said with a big smile on my face, when at that moment I realized... I have two kids. - Marcus and I have two kids! A night out just the two of us acting silly and how quickly we forget! It was fun to forget and worry about nothing more than my sore feet from dancing. Sometimes, sore feet from dancing needs to be my biggest concern, if only for a little while.  :)

Pasta Face won't hug his mama!

Already...he's too cool for hugs unless HE wants them.
The only way I got any attention from him yesterday was if I wore this funny hat and basically stood on my head!
Ps. Alex can now hold his own bottle....yeah!

I take it back

Time out's work.

Caught in the act

Every night around dinner time the little rascals and I get our groove on.  I know..how cheezy. I'm pretty sure I even do the mom dance.. in fact I'm positive as I caught a glimps of myself in the kitchen window doing the white girl over bite. I could have sworn I once had rhythm though.  It must have joined the suit case with flat tummy, high heals and a rested attitude.

Anyway... white girl over bite aside I was having a good time.  Dancing, laughing, clapping, swinging, and spinning.  Hayden thought I was a great dancer.....and so did my passing neighbour on the street.

I'm going to town feeling the music in my front sitting room when I look up and see my neighbour standing on the street bouncing her head in approval of my family bonding boogie. 

At first I wanted to hit the deck and hide under the couch but I thought heck... if she's ballsy enough to not only admit that she's watching us but enjoying herself, then I'm going to own my white girl over bite of a moment with my kids.

Shame is for dummies and so 2009.

Healthy cooking...why bother?

Why do I bother cooking a healthy salmon and salad dinner tonight when I chase it five minutes later with a shot of tequilla and a rolo ice cream cone. (did I REALLY just admit that?)

I know.. shameful. (and yes I do realize it's Monday and really, who does shots of tequilla unless it's spring break in Mexico).

I think I just need the comfort! In fact, I know I need the comfort after such a hard month with the kids.

The other day I called a public health nurse and said that I would like to "cash in" on my visit with a nurse now, seeing I never took advantage of the service when either of the boys were born.  All the nurse said to me was "are you ok? is everything ok?" as I watched Hayden pant, and I broke down and cried.  I sobbed like a baby for a good five minutes while this angel of a voice comforted me on the other end.  I explained to her my worry about the boys, their illnesses, the trips to the hospital the lack of sleep etc all a while knowing that this is the reality of motherhood and feeling like a real baby, jerk, wimp, failure etc.

She gave me a little lecture about the importance of taking care of myself first and doing whatever I can to catch up on my sleep, take my vitamins and eat healthy (hence my attempt above).

Can I just say how i love that stranger on the other end? LOVE HER! I want her to come by and see me every week. If I make it interesting enough maybe she'll just want to pop by on her own?!!  She can examine the boys, listen to my sob stories and tell me how everything is fine.  I'll rent us movies, plan day trips, oh how I want her to be my new bff.

So tonight I took her advice and took care of myself (with chocolate and alcohol).

baby steps.

Dare to Compare and some cute shots

Hayden 8 months and Alex 5 months playing in the exisaucer.

Hayden exhausted after a night of listening to Alex. He dares to lie where the poopie bums go.

Discipline or hypocrit?

With the recent ( and seems to be on- going) colds Hayden has been fighting,  he certainly has his moments of irritation. As much as I do get it, I also won't tolerate "brat like" behaviour such as hitting mommy when he doesn't get his way.

I have yet to try the "time out's" as I just can't see that reason will work on a 19 month old, so what do I do? Hayden hits me, I hit him back...harder.

Before you all gasp over this post please know that I mean a slap on the hand.

But my question does remain...Is an eye for an eye the correct form of punishment?  Am I teaching Hayden "You can't hit, but mommy can?".

Needless to say, it does work.

We do spend a great deal of our youth confused so maybe, just possibly this is a right of passage.

We confuse our kids to help them figure it out.

A new day...

Ok,
First I drove on the spare tire in the snow to the Dr. first thing this morning because as I expected yesterday, Hayden started to wheeze in the night. Now Hayden has brochitis and Alex not only has that but also has an ear infection now.  So some puffers, wrestling with inhalers and a meds later they both seem like they are feeling a little better.  Hayden is still quite wheezy so I'll just keep a close eye on him.

So drop both kids off for a nap (With Claire still helping me) I go off to fix the tire.  When Canadian tire told me yesterday that they didn't have my tire I actually was THAT person and said "Aren't you Canadian TIRE? Is that not the essence of their name? - anyway... that is a whole other rant you already read.

So Honda keeps my car and gives me a free rental because they too now know my sob story and the tears they got on the phone the night before sure helped! lol

I think that is it for the latest and greatest. Now I'm off to down some wine!

Who cries at Canadian Tire?

So there I am standing in Canadian Tire CRYING with five big ginos standing around me in the Auto department conforting me.

But first let us rewind to Sunday morning.

Sunday morning up and recovered from the 24hr flu and on the way to the walk in clinic with Alex.  The Dr. told me that his lungs were clear and to just keep an eye on him.

That evening I wasn't at all comfortable with the way he was breathing so the next day I went straight to Sick Kids Emergency.  Within my first hr there I noticed he started going down hill fast (wanting to sleep, not very responsive, developing fever etc.  So again, I bring it to the nurses attention who basically just don't want to hear it because there are 500 kids throwing up left right and centre.

So once again, I have to rage out on the emerg staff before they realize that I'm right and bump poor Alex to the top of the priority list.

24hs later afer a few fits, meds, oxygen and steroids Alex is showing signs of improvement and was digonosed with bronchitis.  I learned that 80% of kids will have some form of bronchitis before their second birthday and that most likely the virus that caused Haydens pneumonia, caused this (surprise surprise).

So they send me home.  Keep in mind now that I haven't slept since Thursday and was so tired at this point I was seeing things and stumbling around like I had a few (but without the party).

Anyway, get home hug Hayden and within moments notice that his cough which seemed harmless 24hrs prior is now making him gag.  Alight, I thought.... I'm not comfortable with how both kids are acting so first thing in the morning I will take them both now to get checked over so I can sleep at night. (Sorry, so I can hope to sleep at night).

That's when we discover we have a flat tire and the snow begins to fall.  Marcus is up to his eye balls in work and with Frank can Claire helping us out (THANK GOD) I was able to hop in the car and run it up to the Canadian Tire.

So tonight.. I'm at Canadian Tire explaining to them the urgency in getting this tire fixed when they tell me they don't have the tire I need in stock, nor does any location. Ok.... so I call around and NOBODY including the Honda dealership can help me, everyone is out.  So Joanna looks the mechanic in the eye and starts to cry.  Ohhhh that's right. I'm sure the customers standing behind me LOVED it!

So as I was saying... five big guys come from the back and all decide they are going to try and help me come up with a plan. Hilarious!

So home on my donut, I'll drop it off tomorrow after I have the kids checked out...again.

Both kids now asleep,  I'm feeling a little better about Alex...Hayden is another story but we'll take care of him tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Good night Irene.

Awesome

You know that feeling after throwing up 10 times in a row when you just want to die a quick death because your body had just been put through a violent and unnatural torture? Well... take that feeling, add one teaspoon of it being the middle of the night (all night long), one cup of a sick baby that can't breath and will only sleep ON YOU (between barfs) and one cup of a husband that is high fiving you as he passes you in the hall with the same flu.

That's right. Friday night BOTH Marcus and I went down with the 24hr flu and for the love of god it was awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssome.

Now I sit here on Sunday clearly not recovered from my even worse sleep deprevation debating to take Alex to Sick Kids because he has had a terrible cough for two days and is just not himself.  I debate Sick Kids because I don't trust Dr. anymore after what had happened with Hayden.

So there you have it.

As I said....

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOME!

Bed time experiment...night 1 update

It went so so. I chickened out from letting Alex cry because of his little cough.  I just didn't have the heart
to do that to him tonight...figures! HOW - EVER... I didn't lift him from his crib when he yelled and I used the combo bottle for 10 seconds bum pat to get him back to sleep. He yelled but it worked.  Also, he gave me a stretch of almost four hours as well so I'm thinking it's going to work.

I hate the kids on Barney. Sorry tourrettes moment but god they drive me crazy.  WAY over annimated.
(I know I need to GET OUT).

I wonder if Hayden and Alex will find any of my daily entries interesting or annoying when they are old enough to read this.  Who knows... at least they will know the tourture they put me through and may feel the need to buy me something pretty. :)

Bedtime experiment night #1

It's 8:13 day one of bedtime experiment.  Bedtime for the kids just took an hour longer because they kept each other up with their "i dont want to go to bed protests".  Alex didn't get his bottle to fall asleep tonight so he's ticked (and has a cold, but got the all clear of anything funky from the Dr. today), and Hayden is just Hayden.

I may chicken out tonight on the whole letting them scream thing I so bravely said I was going to do, oh just yesterday! We'll see. I'm feeling like a big wimp right now. A big EXHAUSTED wimp that only has time for babies and blogging about babies. 

This wimp wants energy from a half decentish night sleep so this wimp can work out again. (ok, change my clothes every once in a while and brush my hair again).

Anyway, we'll see. Now, 8:17 I'm feeling somewhat bold again.

We
Shall
See.

Day 1

Ok, so... reading reading reading and reading.
WHY IS MY BABY NOT SLEEPING LONGER THAN TWO HR STRETCHES AT A TIME?

1) Make sure they are full during the day: (He just barfed all over me) - He's full
2) Make sure he is comfortable. - Dude is comfortable
3) Change what YOU are doing. - At first this piece of advice seemed sarcastic but then it dawned on me.

*The moment I hear stirring I jump and go running in fear he will wake the house up (aka - Hayden).  But what is funny is that no matter how how I try to keep the two kids from waking each other, they still do so what the heck am I waiting for at this point!
I know that Alex is fully capable of soothing himself back to sleep because I have been watching him do it for the last 24hrs during nap time.  So the conclusion I come to is this...let one scream, let one wake the other and just get the two of them use to hearing each other.

In theory this is simple. But at 3:00am it just seems easier to shove a bottle into Alex's mouth to keep him quiet, even if it means in two hours he's going to do it to me all over again.

 Fri, Sat, Sun Mon Hayden is home with me full time. So tomorrow night operation "make some noise to get some sleep will begin. I will at least know that if Hayden is kept up all night he will have good naps at home in his own bed should he face a night of torture.

(oh for the love of god. I as I type this Alex is flipping out in his crib after I put him down for a nap).

I may just scratch everything I just typed. We'll see.

Wish me luck.

Milestone!

VERY exciting to me but I realize not very exciting to the rest of the world...
Alex can now put himself to sleep at nap time, VERY exciting!

He is also rolling from front to back back to front which is not nearly as exciting as my
first tid bit of news but I documented this milestone for Hayden so I feel the need to do the
same for Alex. 

Wow, the "what you do for one you have to do for another" just officially began.

Recent Pics - Hayden 19 months, Alex 4 months

"Crusty"

I just had a vision of putting my fist through my wall after stepping on a squeeky floor board and waking both kids up at the same time after taking an hour putting them both to bed (after waking up for the day at 4:30am because Hayden decided it was time after just finishing a 4:00am feeding with Alex who was up every two hrs all a while praying that I could sleep in until 6:00.

Then I wonder why anyone should question why I'm a little "crusty".

If anything "crusty" behaviour should be expected, welcomed, enjoyed and celebrated.

"crusty" 

whatever.

Dinner 1 through 10

Marcus and I went for dinner on Sat night. Our night went as follows:

*Drive along Queen street looking for a restaurant we had yet to try. Nothing caught our eye so we ventured into Leslieville.

- A cute looking place caught our eye so we went in, sat down and within 3 seconds we both realized neither one of us were feeling it.  (a seat right by the door, cold and in the middle of the restaurant). So coats back on and we left.

- The Keg mansion sounded like a good idea, but after a drive by we changed our mind.

- The Keg in St. Lawerence Market! - But the wait time was 1.5hrs.

- Fionn Macools in the Market... But just as fast as we walked in, we walked out.  Dull vibe

- The Trevor Wine Bar was our next stop.  They searched for a table, sat us down but once again we took one look at each other and knew it wasn't going to happen because dance music at dinner time wasn't exactly what we were looking for... the search went on.

**At this point we were not going to settle. Forget it! We got this far and  nights out alone were few and far between... so our quest continued.

- Pravda Vodka Bar.  One table by the door and we had to be out by 9:00 (it was 8:15 at that point)

- Some random no name restaurant but the name escapes me... A huge screen with the hockey game on which would mean me talking to myself.

** Giggling like kids running up and down streets, darting across the road....we were just happy to be out and now fuled for our mission.


- Pj O'Briens... One table with a party about to start right beside us.  Coats on annnnd out the door we went.

- Irish Embasy.... annnnnnd no.

And the winner is..... Ki at Bay and Wellington.  Great sushi, quiet table and a quick dinner because at that point we were both exhausted and ready for bed.

It's occasions like this that remind me why Marcus and I are married.  Who else would put up with (let alone be amused by) such nerotic behaviour.

I DO NOT SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Why is it that my child STILL gets up every 2-3 hrs ALL NIGHT LONG to eat. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I just made the mistake of reading a blog entry from when Hayden was the same age. I basically was bragging about how he would go to bed at this time, wake at this time and only have one night feeding. My own post just annoyed me.