The countdown is on...

It's just over a week before I go back to work and I feel as if I'm counting down to an end, a beginning, a new chapter, an old chapter, a guilty chapter and an exciting chapter.

Leaving you two behind is harder than I thought.  I talked and talked about how I'm the kind of mom that needs to work, but now that the time has come, nothing holds a candle to this time spent with you both.

Yes, it's been hard. Any mother out there who says that staying home is not hard on your heart, mind, body and soul is lying.  Physically chasing, carrying and walking two babies around all day is quite the work out. All of my baby chub is almost gone from the constant running you two make me do all day. (Thank god because I have yet to start that diet I have talked and talked and talked about).

Emotionally, yup it's hard.  It's a constant up and down cycle of feelings -many in one day. Happy, joyful and exciting to see your babies progress and play and learn.  Hard to see them sick or upset and confusing to love something so much and be so angry at the same time.  and ohhhhh the worry - over EVERYTHING.

Your days are not strolling happily through the mall as you try on new clothes and sip lattes with your friends. Your days are spent teaching, disciplining, playing, explaining, running and basically keeping your children from killing themselves!

You then have your moments of watching your children's eyes light up when you walk in the room. To hear them say "come mama" as they call you over to the blanket fort they just built. To walking into the room of a baby in sheer joy, kicking and laughing as you get them from an afternoon nap.  To falling asleep together holding hands after reading "Green eggs and Ham" for the 100000 time.

The two of you have each other now during the day and that makes me feel great. You have become to be friends - laughing and giggling together. You are two such different little boys with an entire life of adventure ahead of you.

You are both growing so quickly right before my eyes and I know I can only be thankful of these last two years. One day when you read this you will be men, but in the words of rod:

"be courageous and be brave, but in my heart you will remain.....forever young.

I love you both.

Mama

Let the season begin....

Flu season is officially upon us.

First Marcus gets sick.
Then Alex gets hit with Roseola.
Then H walks around with sick face for two days but with no symptoms. Do you know what I mean by sick face? - and then...goes down. Stuffy nose, cough the whole nine yards. Last night he was up 100x and at one point in bed with us, mouth breathing hot sick breath on me.

annnnnd now I'm sick with pretty much the same thing.

So it begins....again. I wonder how many times we will hit Sick Kids this year. My bets are on 3x.

For those of you who don't know what Roseola is, here is what you need to look for:

1. A crazy high fever that comes out of nowhere. It will last anywhere from 3 days to a week so keep a close eye on it and manage with Tylenol and plenty of liquids

2. Once the fever breaks a rash will cover your child's entire body. This will last 24-48hrs (or so I'm told) - I'm still waiting for the rash to go away, it's been about 32hrs for us.

*Roseola will most likely hit kids between the ages of 6-21months.

So that's, that. Another weird and wonderful illness I have learned about.

Little walking petri dishes...

Birthday #1

Happy Birthday Alex...

Hanging out together

Potty Training Weekend

We quit after one day. Hayden woke up at 5:30 one morning and seeing we were too sleepy to "watch him like a hawk" we slapped a diaper on him and took turns dosing off as he played and peed as he wanted.

We rock!!!

We THOUGHT we could do the 3 day training but really, unless you are Hitler, it's ridonkulous to even attempt to follow or expect your child to follow.

So the rest of the weekend was spent happy in pull ups at the park, the grandparents and the zoo (a few times).

 So slowly, slowly we are going to work towards our goal on our time line and terms.

 I was never really good at having people telling me what to do anyway.

Transitions

I realize this is a more than obvious observation but life, as basic as you can make it is one big series of transitions. Just when you think you've mastered one phase of your life, outside of any control you are on to the next whether you like it or not.

With the kids I've tried to dictate their transitions due to my fear or laziness of not wanting to do deal with yet again something new. (I know how brutal am I).

Anyway, I wanted to prolong Hayden's transition from a crib to a bed for both of the above reasons I shamelessly admitted to, but I had no choice but to just deal. Hayden being such a big boy was going to kill himself trying to escape so for his safety, (and my sanity) we switched him to a bed. The transition was easy and I don't really have any complaints. He escapes from time to time but for the most part it's going quite well. (Not including this morning as I put him back to bed at 4:00am about 10x only to end up sleeping on his floor as he played around me until 5:30 - awesome).

We are now on to potty training. Again, something I have not had the energy to deal with and frankly had no clue what to do if I did feel like taking it on.  Well this inevitable transition came along and is staring me right in the face. Every time H goes he tells me and insists (even if it's just a pee) that I change him. He hates the feeling of his diaper and I have caught him trying to remove it.  So yes, I know....how can I fight what nature is trying to tell me.

So....me being my neurotic self I start reading, reading and reading. I start asking questions and suddenly my focus this week has been on the "how to's".  After some research a good friend sent me over a "manual" and after reading it from cover to cover I have to say I am PUMPED UP.

Bring on the accidents, bring on the learning curve, bring on the potty and bring on this next transition.

We can try to avoid what's next to come but sooner or later we just have to stare that new phase in the eye, own it, embrace it and make it our bitch. :)

Wish me luck...

Some pics of the boys.