The hunt for me

I've realized recently that I've turned into the person that can only talk about the kids, motherhood, staying at home and everything that goes with all of the above.  Now, as much as I do love this role in my life it seems to have dominated my life leaving me with this feeling of "who the heck am I now?

With lack of sounding dramatic (ha ha) I am on the hunt for me again.  After two years of reading books and books and books about babies I have decided to walk away from that and get back to the books that I love that have nothing to do with the kids. I just finished Book of Negros (which I loved loved loved) and am now on to Ingredients for life- which I'm loving as well.

With only the evenings after seven to myself I have also decided to take full advantage of that time. So in addition to my running (which is on hold right now because I pulled a muscle lifting the kids - which really is a blessing in disguise because I would have ended up in a ditch somewhere if I ran the Sporting life 10k this year.) I have decided to take a cooking course... because for those who know me know that I am not the Martha Stewart of the upper east side (of TO). A little research needs to be done to find the course which suits me best, so more info on that to come later. I have also decided that I want to learn how to swing dance.  I know, makes no sense... but when you see your identity flying out the window, strange things in the back of your mind emerge when you realize you need to take your life by the horns before it really is no longer your life as an individual.

My Oma (grandmother in German) told me yesterday that 33 and 35 (myself and marcus) are "beautiful" ages to be and to enjoy this stage.  Seeing that my Oma is 82 I thought she may just know a thing or two about "the beautiful stages in life". I'm going to take her advice instead of only having this blog to remember it by.

So running, reading, writing, cooking and dancing. I'm pretty excited to dive in and get to know myself once again.

The last time I got to know myself was when I went backpacking. It seems every major event in our lives brings out this other side of ourselves.  It must be natures way of forcing us to learn and become (in hopes) a better person. Even if it means becoming a person you're not in love with first...

The quest to look outside of this mom begins....

Sticks, trees, rocks, signs of spring and teething!

Love thy neighbour

So the four of us are sitting the yard today.  Lui, Hayden, Alex and myself.  Lui is running and playing with Hayden, Hayden is squeeling in delight and Alex and I are sitting with a bottle watching the whole thing go down.  It was such a nice day today and Hayden was having the time of his life.  After a third or fourth loud and adorable giggle from Hayden I notice my neighbour make a face at her husband and then say to Hayden "Wow, you bark just as loud as Lui does".

Let's pause here a moment and laugh at not one, but two passive aggressive attacks on me. Cheap shot, ouch, cheat shout ouch again.  Cheap shot me, but don't use my child as a guard. Oh NO you didn't!

So I say to her with a smile "and it's only going to get louder once the three of them run and play together".

She then looks at me after an uncomfortable laugh and says "Looks like your Mullberry tree is ready to bloom".

Let us pause here for another moment so I can translate what this third and final knock out statement meant translated from passiveaggressiveese.

Last summer a week after we moved in and two months before I was about to pop, her and I were chatting over the fence. She pointed at the Mullberry tree and said "Did you know this is a Mullberry tree? They drop berries..." When she noticed I wasn't upset with that statement she adds "they make quite a mess". So I just look at her and say "Well  the yard, gardening etc are not really a priority this year for us as I looked down at my belly and glance over at Hayden".  She goes on to say how every year the berries dump into her yard and that I can have the tree removed.  Again, I just went with the flow of the conversation and went on to talk about another bush boarding our property.

So her comment just now about the tree getting ready to blossom was a prelude to her talking me into removing the tree from my yard.  So I answer with a smile on my face, "yup looks like every tree is ready to bud, I love the spring".

She did win that round though because I scooped up the kids and went inside. Maybe next time I will be able to chase HER from the yard.

Bully.

A day at the zoo

went as follows:

Us: "Hayden, look Elephants!"
Hayden:  Oooooo rocks!

Us: Hayden, look a monkey!
Hayden: Ooooo rocks!

Us: Hayden, look Rhinos
Hayden: Oooo cows!

Us: Hayden, look Lions
Hayden: Oooooo roarrrrr, Ooooooooooooooo TREES!

Again, why leave the yard.

Why is it so easy to complain?

How terrible is that? I really haven't had much to report these days because life on this end is good. I realize how much I complained this winter when I see the frequency of my posts.  Really, why is it easier to complain?
A sleeping baby and illness free environment makes all the difference in the world.  I'm loving having Hayden home full time with us right now.  He is this little person all of a sudden and is cracking me up on a daily basis.
A few days ago we went to a local farm (Riverdale Farm).  Hayden has never seen REAL farm animals, so when he saw their actual scale he was blown aways. "ohhhhhhh cowwww".  A horse was a cow a cow was a horse and chickens were "brock brock brocks".  What really got him going though were the birds in the parking lot. Again seriously, why leave your yard?

Two's company

Eating together
Giggling together
Protesting together
Crying together
Smiling together

Sitting at the dinner table tonight I sat watching Alex and Hayden laugh, giggle and play with one another.  Each taking turns making a silly noise and then looking at me for a reaction. Touching each others hands, Alex touching Hayden's face with his little sticky fingers and Hayden laughing and screaming "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

Hayden counting Alex's fat little toes "three, four, five, eight, tent" and Alex throwing his head back squeeling with laughter as Hayden looks at me for praise.

Watching these two become friends is one of the nicest things I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

You two will always have each other.

No need for three! :)

P.S typing this post I had to take five to wipe Alex's nose. Just now looking down as I typed  I spotted the booger I was digging for, on my hand. LOL

da da da da ma ma ma ma

da da
ma ma
Alex speaks!

ps side note. I ran 5k the other night and still almost died. HOW am I doing 10k in less than a month? Last night I really couldn't run because it was raining - so I went to get groceries instead because we need to eat, right? I need to feed my childeren right? Right! That's what I said! So all signs pointed to taking the night off. Things needed to get done and like I said it was raining.
On my way into the store I saw my neighbour on her way out finishing just what I was about to start. 30 min later as I was getting home she was on her way out the door for a run. In the rain.

whatever.
shes prob a perfect mom and wife too.

Another easter....

Bunnies, cakes, eggs, chocolate, parades, baskets, walks, fresh air, easter art, egg cracking comps and good eats.
We're all eastered out.

               

Diaper Sniffers

I've recently caught myself becoming the parent I would have made fun of B.C. 

A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine (who does not have kids) about how parents these days are "too much" and I thought to myself...that's not me..naaaaaaaaaaa. This after telling her I was planning on building a music and art station for the kids when they are not in swimming lessons, or soccer tots, etc.

As much as you don't want to be "too much" you also don't want to be "too little" either. It's a fine line we walk, of too much this or too little, that I tell you!

This morning I took the boys out into the yard to play. I gathered up haydens trucks, cars, a few balls and doohickies to keep him occupied and entertained. Alex and I got comfortable in the lawn chairs as Hayden ran around gathering rocks, sticks and leaves not giving any thought to the plastic entertainment I thought he would have prefered.  The whole experience made me think of a bit George Carlin did on parents and it made me laugh. A bit worth the read...

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"Now, speaking of parents and speaking of bullshit, two ideas that aren't always mutually exclusive, by the way, I'd like to mention a special kind of bullshit that has taken hold in this country in the last thirty to forty years. It's a form of bullshit that really can only be called "child worship". It's child worship. It's this excessive devotion to children.


I'm talking about today's professional parents, these obsessive diaper sniffers who are overscheduling and overmanaging their children and robbing them of their childhoods.

Even the simple act of playing has been taken away from children, and put on mommy's schedule in the form of "play dates". Something that should be spontaneous and free is now being rigidly planned. When does a kid ever get to sit in the yard with a stick anymore?

You know? Just sit there with a fucking stick. Do today's kids even know what a stick is?

You sit in the yard with a fucking stick... and you dig a fucking hole. You know?

And you look at the hole, and you look at the stick... and you have a little fun. But kids don't have sticks anymore. I don't think there are any sticks left; I think they've all be recalled because of lead paint! "

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PS Yes, this brought me back down to "reality" but I will never, NEVER choose putting my finger in the side of a diaper to check for poop over "diaper sniffing". Never.

Two babies under two....

Three months until Hayden is two and I still in many ways have two "babies" even though H is a toddler now.
Yup, a lot of work but I've managed to sync the two boys up in many ways which makes life now somewhat (somewhat) consistent.
They eat their meals at the table together at the same time each day...
They have snacks together at the same time each day...
They nap after lunch together at the same time each day...
They wake up at the same time each day...
AND
They go to bed at the same time each day...

Now...
on the other hand they seem to...
Cry at the same time
get sick at the same time
not want to eat at the same time
hate the car at the same time
get bored grocery shopping at the same time
need their bums changed at the same time
want to be held at the same time.

All in all though, they are good boys at the same time.