With my mat leave end in now close sight I have to say I'm feeling allllll mixed up inside. Marcus turned to me yesterday and asked "Are you ok?" when I suggested we go down to the splash pad in the park so the kids can cool off, with welled up eyes. Welled up eyes because I realized the summer will soon be coming to an end, I will be going back to work and someone else will get to watch them play and grow on a daily basis.
Earlier that day when both kids were screaming at me for lunch I said and I quote "I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND BACK TO WORK!".
A little mixed up I am on this end. No two people have ever made my blood boil and heart melt like these two can. When I need to get as far away from them as possible, I'm RUNNING to get back to them after I do so.
They go to bed at night and I'm relieved for some me time, but by the next morning I crave to see their little smiling faces.
I have a love/hate for staying home and going back to work.
Could I be more confused?
I'm not going to even try to explain this contradiction because I have yet to make sense of it.
God, I sure took my adolescent "problems" for granted. If I went back I would make sure I didn't get stressed out over the fact that "Billy didn't smile at me in math class" or that "my parents won't let me stay up late. You couldn't pay me to stay up late now and really, I could care less about what ever happened to Billy.
Anyway...confused, sad and excited for the next chapter.
Some summer pics....
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