The ugly truth

I started this blog as a journal for the family.  Quick and to the point polite updates about being pregnant, the birth of the boys etc.  Then I decided to carry it on as a journal for the boys and their families to  read as well one day. Along the way of diving into this new world I realized very quickly there are many things you are not warned or prepared for (negatively speaking) and made a promised to myself that if I wanted to remember this experience exactly the way it was then I was going to be honest in my posts..no matter how embarassing.

So here goes one of those not so perfect posts about a not so perfect day in my not so perfect life!

A few weeks ago I was happy to see the sign "It's a boy" hanging outside of my neighbours home.  It had been a long year inside so I had no idea there was even a couple let alone a couple having a baby, in arms reach. Yay! I thought, someone right across the street I can grab for a coffee, a walk...how convenient!

So yesterday six weeks after the new little boy was born the new mom emerged from that "jesus christ what just happened to me" coma and was getting ready to go for a walk.  I was doing exactly that and thought this would be a perfect opportunity to introduce myself. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. (this is where the story starts to take an ugly turn).

Seeing that I had only moments to make my move, I instantly started to rush, rush, rush like a spaz trying to get the kids buckled in so I could time our "bump in" perfectly.   Really Joanna? You're not picking her up you know...and seriously, who does the bump in thing unless it's in a made for tv movie. 

Anyway, I time the bump in and we meet.  I congratulate her on her lovely little boy and let her know that if she ever wants to have a coffee or go for a walk that I am just right across the street.  Before she even has a chance to respond I jump in and say "Well why don't we walk together right now?" Not even thinking for a moment that maybe, just maybe she may have other plans.  She tells me she's on her way down to Queen street for a shopping, but before she can go on, I once again pipe up and say "Ok, I'll walk with you, it's on the route that I was going on anyway".  I proceed to tell her that I can't go all the way down the hill with her because the boys are now too heavy to get back up - like I was invited anyway!

So we're walking and talking and pretty quickly I sense that "she's just not that into me" and I suddenly feel nervous.  So I start rambling on about god knows what not letting her get a word in edge wise, talking about me me me and my experience with the kids and what we do...me me me, I I I.  "Hi nice to meet you, I'm your narsasitic know it all, self imposing neighbour". The more I talk, the more I'm embarassed yet I can't stop.  Next thing you know I'm on my way down the hill with her, basically following her now and again....I can't stop. We reach a fork in the road when I finally get a grip and realize that I should probably leave the poor girl alone and head off in my own direction. So I make up some excuse that I have to start heading back...but really, why lie?  She looks at me with this "I think you are a little crazy" look on her face and says "didn't you say you can't make it back up these big hills".  - So I turn around and say "ohh no, this hill is fine it's the other one that I have trouble with".  If we weren't standing at the bottom of a MASIVE hill this lie would have took...but we weren't.  So she says "okayyy" and we part ways with "let's do this again" - yea right.

We wave good bye and I turn to look up at this huge mountain I need to climb ahead of me. Jesus. I quickly forget about my past performance and hike the mountain like the little engine that could. So up I go, talking myself through it and home I was 30 min later -sweaty, exhausted..but I made it.

 I push the boys up on to the drive way (which is a slight hill), park it, put the breaks on and proceed to lift Hayden out of his seat first and onto the steps up to the house. When I turned to get Alex, my heart fell into my stomach as I watched the stroller fly down the drive way, hop the curb and into the middle of the road! With my feet not even touching the ground I go running out into the road arms waving, yelling "oh my god this and oh my god that".  I guess I didn't put the breaks on like I thought. I grab the handle bars and snatch the stroller out of the road and check Alex to see if he's ok. Smiling and laughing Alex was fine, but I was paralized from the waste down and numb thinking about "what if this and what if that".

I sat down on the steps beside Hayden,  holding both of them while I took a deep breath and immersed myself  in self  loath. When I looked up after a few moments of "how could I this and how could I that" I spot my new "friends" husband across the road who while gardening, watched the whole gross episode go down. Wonderful! So now I'm not only the crazy and desperate neighbour, but a terrible mother as well - great first impression.  I'm sure dinner conversation was not lacking for the new parents that night.

So there you have it. Desperate and failed pick up attemps and a moment of motherly delinquency.... the ugly truth, as ugly as it can get.